In celebration of his unanimous election victory Kim Jong-un has rewritten the cultural history books of North Korea by announcing himself as the world’s original hipster.
Currently standing as the world’s youngest head of state, his new title can now sit alongside other prestigious labels he currently holds such as MP, Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces and chairman of the powerful National Defence Commission.
Among such an array of titles it is his latest achievement which Jong-un appears to value most highly. The sleeked back fringe haircut which is normally known as the short back and sides has now been renamed the Kim Jong un sides and is taking the population of North Korea by storm.
“Business has boomed,” says one North Korean barber, “I don’t think we’ve seen a style icon like this since Jong-un’s father made it cool to wear nerd glasses.”
As rumours have begun to circulate that Jong-un also sports an array of prison tats under his tight collared military shirt, the North Korean media were quick to release this statement: “Kim Jong-un would like to remind everyone that whatever he does, he does so in the name of independent art and free expression. It is good to express yourself as an individual providing that it has been approved by the state and tried and tested by our leader.”
In defence of international criticism against Jong-un being the self proclaimed hipster that he is, the North Korean government announced today that “democracy is too mainstream and is killing the political scene.”
The North Korean leader concluded by saying that he was happy to see the spread of the hipster look internationally and hoped more people adopted the hairstyle but spoke out against ankle exposing skinny jeans calling them “capitalist harlot pants” that offered no warmth to the ankle and that anyone wearing them is obviously “a mindless automaton” with no sense of common decency and style.