Wunderground Music – Dance Music's Most Accurate News Source

DJ Demands Bigger Font on Lineup Before Leaving Womb

An unborn fetus who is expected to eventually grow into a DJ is apparently refusing to be born until the midwife signs off on a bigger font for the artwork to announce its birth. The future DJ, gender unknown, is believed to be taking a hard stance with the midwife, causing some significant discomfort for its mother. “That DJ is

1 min read

September 2, 2019

DJ Honestly Doesn’t Give A Fuck If You Put Your Hands Up In The Air Or Not

A popular DJ has admitted that he “doesn’t give a

1 min read

Dance Music Mags Celebrate Swedish House Mafia Tour By Invoicing Them For The Coverage

Dance music magazines around the globe have been celebrating Swedish

1 min read

Pacha To Dismantle Marco Carola For Parts

Pacha have announced they will be scrapping Marco Carola before

1 min read

Kink Adds Airfryer To Live Setup

Much-loved Bulgarian House & Techno act, Kink, has this weekend

2 mins read

Opening DJ Wants To Know Can He Borrow Headphones

An opening DJ is hopeful of borrowing a set of headphones to

DJs Now Using Clairvoyants To Help Find Promoters At The End Of A Night

DJs all over the world have reportedly turned to clairvoyants in an

MUSIC

Man’s Head Swells To Size Of Beach Ball After Suffering Allergic Reaction To Tech House

A man’s head has reportedly swollen to the size of a beach ball after suffering a severe allergic reaction to tech house. James Swann,

1 min read

February 25, 2019

Tech House DJ Running Out Of Places To Get Shit Tattoos

A tech house DJ is said to be considering his options after revealing that he is very close to running out of space on

1 min read

April 10, 2019

Scientists Developing Heavy Metal Vaccine

Reports suggest that scientists in an English university are on the brink of releasing a vaccine for heavy metal. According to Wunderground sources, being

1 min read

March 5, 2019

Scientists Develop Sound System Capable Of Making Psytrance Sound Good

A team of British scientists claims to have developed a state of the art sound system that can actually make psytrance sound good. The

1 min read

July 3, 2019

HUMANS

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Chemical Brother’s “Hey Boy Hey Girl” Re-Released As “Hey They”

The Chemical Brother’s have revealed that they will be re-releasing their 1999 hit single Hey Boy Hey Girl as a gender neutral track, renamed

1 min read

April 1, 2025

“Best Nap I’ve Had In Years’ Says Conference Panel Attendee

Conference panel attendees live an average of 4.5 years longer than the rest of us, mostly due to all the additional sleep, claims the

1 min read

November 7, 2023

Tik-Tok Raver Disappears On A Massive 30-Second Bender

“We thought we would never see him again!” The family of popular TiK-Tok raver @technoprick is breathing a sigh of relief this afternoon. @technoprick

1 min read

November 6, 2023

“Maybe I’ll Do A Disco Edit?” Producer Hit By Moment Of Pure Inspiration

A bedroom producer has this morning blown the studio windows right out of their frames with a scene-changing burst of inspiration, one that is

1 min read

July 2, 2023

culture

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Culture·Scene

Price Of Balloons Will Rise With Inflation, Warn Experts

The price of balloons is set to rise in line with inflation, say economists, balloon experts, and drug dealers. “Any balloon will rise with

May 1, 2023

by Mikey

Events

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Ibiza Club Surpasses Black Hole As the Most Densely Packed Place In The Universe

Clubs

November 8, 2023

An Ibizan nightclub has been hailed by physicists as the most densely packed place in the universe, overtaking black holes, Tiesto’s head, and the blessed Madonna’s knickers to claim the

Kethead Locked In Portaloo Since 2019 ‘Glad To Be Free’

Festivals·People Of The World

May 19, 2023

A lad who purchased what he is calling ‘a fairly decent sized bag of Ket’ has this morning stumbled out of the portaloo he has called home since 2019, asking

Plastic-Free Festival In Essex Sees Five Thousand Turned Away

Festivals

April 30, 2023

An eco-friendly festival in Essex has this morning announced bankruptcy having turned away all 5000 ticket holders last weekend, as plastic was prohibited from the festival grounds. The extremely large

AROUND THE WORLD

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As News Breaks Of His Womanising Ways, Matt Hancock Announces New DJ Alias

World

June 25, 2021

We may know him as cheeky chopped Matt Hancock, Secretary of Health and Social Care and most notably for the massive balls up he

Job Site Now Has ‘More DJs Than Beatport’

Online

February 18, 2021

Indeed.com is now the most-visited website for dance music professionals around the world, according to a herd of boring pollsters hidden in a basement

88% Of DJs Were Super-Spreaders Before Covid, Report Claims

Health & Fitness

February 17, 2021

Eighty-eight percent of touring DJs were classed as super-spreaders long before the term became known publicly, a leading Virologist has written in The New

Biden Appoints Sven Marquardt Head Of Security At Capitol Hill

World

January 10, 2021

President-Elect Joe Biden has announced Sven Marquardt will serve as Head Of Security at Capitol Hill following last week’s riots at the building. Sven,