Wunderground Music – Dance Music's Most Accurate News Source

Techno DJs Voted Worst At Telling Jokes

A brand new poll by DJ Mag, the Top 100 DJs At Telling Jokes, has found that techno DJs are extremely bad at delivering punch lines. The surveys results found that tech house DJs were the best at telling jokes, with EDM DJs, house DJs and psytrance DJs also notably better at joking than techno DJs. “These results don’t surprise

1 min read

March 1, 2019

DJ Loses Earplugs First Time He Uses Them – For 12th Consecutive Time

A DJ has reportedly lost a brand new set of

1 min read

Customs Officer Finds Charlotte de Witte Voodoo Doll In Amelie Lens’s Hand Luggage

Customs officers in Brussels International Airport have reported finding, what

1 min read

DJ Demands Bigger Font on Lineup Before Leaving Womb

An unborn fetus who is expected to eventually grow into

1 min read

Chemical Brother’s “Hey Boy Hey Girl” Re-Released As “Hey They”

The Chemical Brother’s have revealed that they will be re-releasing

1 min read

Scientists Successfully Clone Carl Cox

After years of trying to genetically engineer the perfect DJ, backyard scientists

Psytrance DJ Considered Sellout After Getting First Paid Gig

A psytrance DJ has been labeled a “sellout” by a group of

MUSIC

Moby Denies Skin Head Accusations

Former electronic music producer Moby has denied a recent report which claimed the animal rights activist was a skinhead. Despite being follically challenged and

1 min read

February 21, 2019

Case Closed: Tupac Death Labelled Covid-19

The West Coast gangster rap scene can today breath a sigh of relief, as a rare moment of closure befalls the unsolved Tupac Shakur

1 min read

August 18, 2020

Christopher Columbus Discovers Good Tech House Track

“Tech House is fucking WANK!” Christopher Columbus told Wunderground earlier today. “I’ve been dead hundreds of years, and nothing – NOTHING – has ever

1 min read

January 12, 2021

Doctors Confirm That Being A Tech House Fan May Be Hereditary

Doctors have confirmed that being a tech house fan could be caused by a hereditary shit taste in music. According to research, over half

1 min read

March 5, 2019

HUMANS

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“Best Nap I’ve Had In Years’ Says Conference Panel Attendee

Conference panel attendees live an average of 4.5 years longer than the rest of us, mostly due to all the additional sleep, claims the

1 min read

November 7, 2023

Tik-Tok Raver Disappears On A Massive 30-Second Bender

“We thought we would never see him again!” The family of popular TiK-Tok raver @technoprick is breathing a sigh of relief this afternoon. @technoprick

1 min read

November 6, 2023

Kink Adds Airfryer To Live Setup

Much-loved Bulgarian House & Techno act, Kink, has this weekend added a Bosch Air Fryer to his live setup. “I fucking love it!” said

2 mins read

July 2, 2023

“Maybe I’ll Do A Disco Edit?” Producer Hit By Moment Of Pure Inspiration

A bedroom producer has this morning blown the studio windows right out of their frames with a scene-changing burst of inspiration, one that is

1 min read

July 2, 2023

culture

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Culture·Scene

Price Of Balloons Will Rise With Inflation, Warn Experts

The price of balloons is set to rise in line with inflation, say economists, balloon experts, and drug dealers. “Any balloon will rise with

May 1, 2023

by Mikey

Events

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Ibiza Club Surpasses Black Hole As the Most Densely Packed Place In The Universe

Clubs

November 8, 2023

An Ibizan nightclub has been hailed by physicists as the most densely packed place in the universe, overtaking black holes, Tiesto’s head, and the blessed Madonna’s knickers to claim the

Kethead Locked In Portaloo Since 2019 ‘Glad To Be Free’

Festivals·People Of The World

May 19, 2023

A lad who purchased what he is calling ‘a fairly decent sized bag of Ket’ has this morning stumbled out of the portaloo he has called home since 2019, asking

Plastic-Free Festival In Essex Sees Five Thousand Turned Away

Festivals

April 30, 2023

An eco-friendly festival in Essex has this morning announced bankruptcy having turned away all 5000 ticket holders last weekend, as plastic was prohibited from the festival grounds. The extremely large

AROUND THE WORLD

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As News Breaks Of His Womanising Ways, Matt Hancock Announces New DJ Alias

World

June 25, 2021

We may know him as cheeky chopped Matt Hancock, Secretary of Health and Social Care and most notably for the massive balls up he

Job Site Now Has ‘More DJs Than Beatport’

Online

February 18, 2021

Indeed.com is now the most-visited website for dance music professionals around the world, according to a herd of boring pollsters hidden in a basement

88% Of DJs Were Super-Spreaders Before Covid, Report Claims

Health & Fitness

February 17, 2021

Eighty-eight percent of touring DJs were classed as super-spreaders long before the term became known publicly, a leading Virologist has written in The New

Biden Appoints Sven Marquardt Head Of Security At Capitol Hill

World

January 10, 2021

President-Elect Joe Biden has announced Sven Marquardt will serve as Head Of Security at Capitol Hill following last week’s riots at the building. Sven,